Massage Etiquette

This picture has nothing to do with my blog, I just thought it was funny. Besides, if you're going to take the time to dress up and find just the right wig to go with those bright pink flip flops then you want to make sure people appreciate your look...right? That's what I always thought.

But moving on:

So I bought some massages last year when I thought I was going to be running a lot more than I ended up being able to in 2008 (See March 2008 blog - An Ode to Vivi).
But now I have to use them all up before the end up this month! So after finishing up returning my Monday phone calls from work this evening I evaluated my to-do piles. There is the "Do ASAP" piles, the "Check if needs to be done ASAP" piles and the "Not so much ASAP but definitely do Soon" pile. Feeling my body slouch down in my chair I decided to make a phone call "Ok God, if there's an opening then I know you're telling me that I shouldn't stay late." And what do ya know - there was one opening left this evening for a massage. Me=Gone immediately from my office.

So I let my masseuse know about my achy shoulder/neck before I laid down for her to work her magic. And she's just amazing as always. Always within the first ten minutes I have that moment of clarity when I realize it's easy to be single when all I need are massages like this to keep me happy.
But she never really got to the guts of my problem spot within the first 30 minutes...do I speak up? I don't want to offend her. As I was contemplating I heard his sniffle "Are you sick? Do you need to take a minute?" She informs me that she has a horrible sinus ache behind her eyes. Oh poor girl...now I REALLY don't know if I should tell her re-evaluate my problem spot. So I keep silent.
She goes on to massage my achy calves (courtesy of 6.7 on Mercer last night) and even my fingers. And let me interrupt here and say that when I was in high school my little crush used to massage my hands during class because they would ache from working at Baskin Robbins the night before. How cute is that? But I digress....
So she keeps sniffling as she works out my quads "Are you feeling OK?" I'm trying to feel her out. She insists she does but is fighting off a sneeze. So I guess in my head that we have about 15 minutes left as she makes her way back to my head. Finally - she's going to save the best for last and work out that brick in my shoulder...right? Hmm..well, that head massage feels nice....Oh, and I didn't realize my neck was so sore there - thank you....but still...should I say something? And then *ding* - time is up.
Dang it. So what is proper massage etiquette? Do I speak up and say "Hey lady, wipe your nose and then get your hands back up here and show my shoulder who is boss!" ??

So I did the next best thing: I scheduled a massage for next week with a fella. Because I figure since guys don't have feelings and enjoy hurting women anyway....well, you know where I'm going with this.

To be continued!