So first of all: I HATE dating. Hate it. It's like a long job interview and sometimes what you think you're applying for is way different than what the applicant meant to advertise for. The only good thing I can get out of it is free food and cheap entertainment. So let's take a quick road down "I hate dating and this is why" memory lane from the past year:
*Hot Detective: What a man to resist! Broke my heart a little bit but I stuck to my guns. On some level I think he was the devil and I somehow resisted temptation. But as time went by I see that he's hilarious, vulnerable and acts like a middle school boy who can't control the monster in his pants. He's fun - perhaps we'll go out for a drink again soon. I love to laugh and reject sexual advances.
*Pervert Pilot: My mistake here. I think I just needed a distraction from the Hot Detective. When I look back this guy really creeped me out - but I can be cynical so I figured to give it a chance. One thing I learned this year is to *always* trust your gut and your first instinct. Oh, what made him a pervert? Well he said...I can't even repeat it. I love pervert humor when it involves humor. When there's no joke it's just creepy. *shudder*
*Dirty Virgin: Again another distraction from someone I won't include on my list. Fun guy but his laugh was horrible. I felt so bad for the other people in the theater. But he made me laugh outside of the theater and could be very sweet. But really, what's the point of being a virgin if you've been so dirty? This whole legalism thing has got to go - if your heart's not in it then it's not worth the dedication. Oh, and he really didn't treat his dog well.
*Chubby Redhead: Very nice guy. No physical attraction. Fun to hang out with - but he reminded me of a buddy from high school I'd hang out with, not someone I'd date. Derek has this theory that I only date guys that treat me like crap - and I think he bases that theory from my boyfriend from 11 years ago. In reality he's just pissed that my crappy ex-boyfriend from 11 years ago was way taller than him, but I digress...(I'm gonna pay for that comment)
Anyway - Chubby Redhead picked the hardest hike of them all. Long story. But the end result on that trail was don't put your arm around me like you're the man after you left your balls at the trailhead. Just saying.
*Dreamy Husky: This is still fresh. Very nice guy and his calm mannerism was contagious. I could feel my icy heart start to melt. But I don't get this whole polyagmy dating thing (Derek's term that I stole). Another hard decision but I stuck to my guns and broke a little piece of my heart. It wouldn't of worked out anyway - I don't think he realized how much I appreciate dirty humor and love to cuss.
So really, I hate dating. It's weird. There's always these new rules that pop up that I wasn't aware of. I always thought things were more simple and traditional. Like the guy pursues the one girl he likes and the 3rd date is the make or break date. And I always go at least 3 dates - makes for better stories.
Plus I like free meals.
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