The Height of Rudeness

"The Height of Rudeness" was a line Big D and I heard from an episode Flight of the Conchords (one of the funniest shows ever) and we decided it would be a perfect title for a blog. At first I thought I could write a blog with that title based on the picture above. But then... then Alan the Ogre inspired me otherwise... But before I get into that isn't this picture ridiculous? See what some people will do for a good race time? He even looks disgusted with himself. I hope you got a good PR man...

So my dear buddy Alan the Ogre, whom I love and adore, is incredibly rude. Many people wouldn't describe him as this. Alan for the most part is such a wonderful person I thank my lucky stars for knowing him. When I describe Alan to others I always mention how wonderful I think he is. But Alan has the most horrible habit. A habit so bad that makes me constantly question "Why do I even take time to hang out with you?"

You see, Alan is a texting whore. It is true. Those who know him best know it and now it's time for me to put him out on shout in one last effort to shame him into changing the error of his ways. He texts and drives (grrrr), he texts when I'm driving, he texts when I'm talking, he texts during dinner, he texts when you're not looking...and I don't even want to think of the other things he does while he's texting.

At times I'll ask "Who the h*ll are you texting so much!?" but he is reluctant to answer. And then when he opens his mouth I walk away. Because I don't care. I am just perplexed as to why he is wasting the value of my company. For example, last night I had two other offers, from two very cool people to hang out with them. But, I had plans with Alan the Ogre. I'm not quite sure if Alan was aware that him and I were hanging out because he was freaking texting the whole time. Can I get a witness!? Why yes I can. My beautiful german vixen Christina was there to see it all.

And Alan the Ogre is as stubborn as he is good hearted. At first, in the past, I would politely point out that his texting is a little rude but this does not sway him. Then in true Krista fashion over time I get feisty and confrontational and he just laughs, tells me that he doesn't ignore me, and continues to text. You're lucky I'm not blogging about your driving Alan - yeah, I'm talking to you!!!

So then last night, in a rare moment when Alan wasn't texting I kept quiet to see if he would start a conversation. Of course he did not. It has gotten so bad that Alan only knows how to converse with his fingers.

Who is this man, this obsessive texting whore that takes advantage of Krista's company you ask? Why look below. That's him. Back in the good 'ol days before his texting addiction.

But now the good days are gone as Alan the Ogre has reached The Height of Rudeness.

Jerk.