The Happy Coastie

"I don't want to live in the City anymore." That's what I always say when I visit my good friends Mike & Alicia in Prosser, WA. Prosser is about a 3 hour drive to good living. Just look at their house! The first time I saw it, it was evening and the stars were bright. All the lights in the house were on and it took my breath away. Oh - and it's pretty good in the day too. They have 2 chocolate labs (one more useful than the other) and a new black lab puppy named Diesel...in a year his name will most likely need to be changed to Tank.

2.5 days in Prosser always feel like a week vacation when I get back to the coast. There are no worries...except for the suicidal birds. But that's it! What else is there to worry about? Just sun burns...which I actually consider good luck. The first time I visited I got 2nd degree burns, went to a job interview the next day and got the job. Thanks Prosser. You see, only good things happen there.

Last weekend Mike & Alicia invited me over once again (seen here - Mike is actually really excited to hang out with me). The first time I met Mike I was informed for the first time that I'm part of a group called the "Effing Coasties" - oh, and I edited that term. Mike entertained me thru out the weekend with why effing coasties were effing coasties. They especially are stupid effing coasties when it comes to fishing. One of my favorite stories is when he convinced stupid effing coasties that he caught a lot of fish in a fishless lake. So of course the stupid coasties went to that vacant lake. So imagine what a great honor it was when they invited me, a effing coastie, to go fishing!

So I'm a stupid effing coastie and my fishing experience is catch and release in various matters. I remember fishing for trout as a youngster with my Dad along the river. Big D and I made Alan row the boat when we went fishing last summer. We caught a fish that crap bait on Alan's hand. When I was in college I threw back a fish, overhand, into a tree and couldn't shake it out. Poor fish baked there in the sun. And just a few weeks ago I caught a little bass in a city lake (seen here). But over in Prosser Mike & Alicia don't mess around. They have a boat! And not a row boat - it has a motor and plenty of spaces to sit without rocking it. This was all very new for me.

We went out to the Columbia river and I was instantly overwhelmed by the new experience. All these boats, in a line, there's an anchor involved, all these fishing poles, colorful bait - I mean, a *lot* of bait. And bait isn't even the right word! I forgot what they're called. And they'd wrap sardines around it and cast it in. There were four poles in the water held by these useful contraptions at the end of the boat. So I looked around and took it all in just warming up with all my dumb questions.

All of a sudden there was a bite! That's when I found out when fishing with Mike & Alicia each person gets a turn to reel in a fish and it was mine to start. The stupid effing coastie in me took over and I had no idea how to hold this pole. "Stick it on your hip and just do what Mike says." Alicia tells me. So I stick it on my side, not my hip. And cranked hard. It was a blur - I remember cussing, asking what to do, feeling my arm burn, then the boat moving (later I found out we were "chasing" the salmon) and when I looked up I noticed the folks on the other boats watching me. Can they tell I'm a stupid effing coastie I wondered?

Anyway - I discovered one of my new favorite things in the world. It's when you're reeling in the fish and you can kind of see it hop off the water for the first time. Those salmon are big!! It was finally close to the boat and I'm mindlessly reeling still when I couldn't reel anymore (later Mike calmly explains to me that could break the pole). The salmon was twisting and turning and just when the net was close it got away. I was instantly sad and my pride hurt but everyone was so nice and reassuring that some fish get away, and some don't.

Salmon are freaking huge over there on the East Side. Unless Salmon are usually this big? I'm not quite sure. I'm a stupid coastie like I said.

Alicia had the next turn and she was flawless. She was in the zone and calmly struggled successfully in reeling in a 19 pound salmon. It was beautiful. I never had so much pride to be her friend like I did at that moment. I remember a year earlier when I was driving on the busy I-405 with all the other Coastie's and talking on the phone with Alicia. She talked about this HUGE fish - a bottom feeder I remembered - that she caught over the weekend. All I remember is it took a long time and thinking "holy crap, that's burly!" After she caught her salmon we talked about that big fish. She told me that it was an 8-foot sturgeon that took 3 people 1.5 hours to reel in. ....holy....crap. So THIS is fishing! Now I get it.

It was such a wonderful day of drinking beer, hearing stories and finally getting my own fish. It was my first salmon and Mike convinced me it would be OK to hold it with my bare fingers. And I'm so glad that he did. Sure, I had the smallest fish in the cooler but I was the happiest coastie on the Columbia that day. I'm so thankful for the lessons that were taught to me. One that I'm not convinced of though: "Hey Red! What's your name?" That's when the fella on the boat next to me told me not to be so concerned with my beer when a fish bites the line. I don't quite agree. This coastie is going to make sure the beer is in a safe place before she reels anything in. I'm still perplexed that isn't understood on the East side.

So this whole week I've been daydreaming about fishing again, Alicia's amazing cooking, getting to know Diesel better, talking with Alicia (one of the most laid-back, coolest chicks I know. I wish they had "Alicias" on the Coast), Mike showing off his boat skills and the slow & simple life in Prosser. And really...truly...I don't want to live in the city anymore.